Katya PollockLast summer, I went back home to work in Toronto. I was out after work with some of my co-interns when a girl I had just met asked me, "So, where are your parents from?". She sat there, waiting for my answer and sipping a lime mojito, while I registered that I was shocked by her question. Somewhat unsure of myself, I told her, "My mom's from Finland and my dad's from the U.S.". Without a second thought, she perked up and said, "Oh, that's cool!". She went around the whole table, collecting answers like "Sweden" "China" "Argentina" and "Egypt". None of us had two parents from Canada (a fact which no one seemed to notice) and the conversation shifted easily to jokes about our parents' cultures.
This whole interaction left me with a weird feeling. On the one hand, it struck me as weird to ask so bluntly about peoples' backgrounds having just met them, and a bit crass to openly discuss stereotypes about Chinese, Egyptian, Latin American and European Canadians in such a trivial, jokey way with your new coworkers. On the other hand, I realized that it was only my time spent in the U.S. that made me think there was something wrong about the conversation. Up until two years ago, when I first started at Pomona, I would have been just as comfortable laughing in that moment as all my co-interns were. Toronto is often referred to as the most multicultural city in the world, both because nearly half of all people in the city are born in a foreign country (46%) and because of the diversity of foreign nationalities represented in the city (230). On the street where I grew up, none of my neighbors were born in Canada. I can't recall one student in my elementary or middle school who wasn't either a first- or second-generation immigrant. Maybe more significantly, there was a wide range of countries from which peoples' parents or they themselves immigrated from. China and India were the most common home countries where I lived, but Greece, Ukraine, Italy, Jamaica, Guyana and other countries were also represented on my street and in my schools. Since living in the U.S., I've realized that it's a taboo to ask an American you just met where their parents are from. If they're white, the question seems ridiculous; why would a white person who grew up in America feel anything but 100% American? If they're non-white, the question comes loaded with the connotation of some version of "You don't look like you belong here". In part, that's just a matter of statistics: only 13.7% of Americans and 27% of Californians are foreign-born, so it's just less probable that someone you meet here actually does have foreign-born parents. I also have a hunch, though, that it's a result of differences in immigration rhetoric and policy design in the U.S. and Canada. Canadian politicians often refer to Canada as a "cultural mosaic" in contrast to the "melting pot" of the United States. The idea is that immigrants to Canada retain their cultural identities in fitting into the broader structure of Canadian society, while immigrants to the U.S. (by force or by choice) shed their cultural origins and "melt" together into one new people. As a result, in the U.S., it's become offensive to suggest that someone might not have fully shed their cultural heritage. In Canada, though, it's perfectly acceptable to assume that someone you know might have been born elsewhere. The question, "Where are your parents from?" isn't meant to single anyone out, but instead highlight what is common to a growing percentage of Canadians. It took me a while to realize that social attitudes towards ethnicity, race and immigration work much differently here than in my home city less than 100 miles north of the U.S. border. I don't want to suggest that either country has it all figured out - racism and xenophobia are very real issues in Canada and in Toronto as in the United States. Jewish, Muslim, and Black communities, in particular, continue to be targeted by hate crimes in Toronto. A recent case of death threats against a Syrian refugee and restaurant-owner have shaken the city. And racism within the Toronto police force is well-documented - Torontonians who are black are an astonishing twenty times more likely to be shot by police than white ones. But, I do think that everyone can benefit from learning about where their friends, coworkers, and neighbors come from - and that requires a national culture of genuinely asking questions instead of shying away from them.
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